Wisdom is applying what you know.

I love a good argument. I love the thrust, the joust, the clever ducks and dives, the reasoned logic, the sucker punch, the tangents, the curveballs and I love to win.

Sometimes, those drives mean I forget that at the heart of every opponent is someone with a question, a belief, an understanding.. in short there is a person.

I find it very hard not to want to win any discussion I'm in. I want to be understood, validated, listened to. I want to know that I've understood sufficiently to convey a compelling argument to another. In all of this its possible that I want it so badly, that I don't see the affect my drive to convince can have on another.

I recently received a communication from a friend who felt pressurised to make a commitment to Christ. In my desire that no-one should perish, perhaps I forgot that there was a person with genuine concerns, questions and hesitations. It is easy for me to see how it could have happened, though I was oblivious to it (and still I am) as I recall the conversations. - Sure I was excited (new births are sooo exciting) - and I wonder if I really did listen as much as I talked? - Did I get carried away?

Whether I can see it or not, its clear I must have done. - How difficult it is! - Yet how pleased I am that they are saved!

I guess knowing when to speak and when to listen. When to respond and when to stay silent. When to answer and when to leave a question unanswered, is where maturity takes over.

We need to rely on God to do what he does best, reveal himself. Surely if we trusted God, then He would be able to do a much better job than we could do? - For sure he likes to use us, to include us, but he doesn't need us in the same way I need air. - He chooses to need us to fulfil his purpose, to include us in his plans.. - how marvellous that he should choose us at all!?

But its not just in conversation face to face that discipline is required. No, all of our communications should be considered ambassadorial appointments for our king. Every word, whether spoken, written or exemplified in action should be held captive till we are certain we are responding from the heart of God. - What a challenge! - More so for one that loves to explain and convince.

Perhaps the monastic life would have been perfect for me, all that silence! - perhaps in silence I could learn to appreciate the quiet things of God.

Yet God made me noisy!. He made me capable of assimilating information and regurgitating it 'at will'. He made me passionate about explanation of the deep things of life, to enquire about the reason for the hope we profess. - Surely our victorious God would want me to shout and declare the greatness of his works and majesty? Yet, perhaps it is those with humble heart. Pure motives that are best used to declare his Glory? - Those who are gentle in spirit? How much more have I to learn?

God would you grant me the grace to know when to speak and when to be silent. To choose stillness before you than effervescence and noise. Teach me to obey your prompting by the spirit, and help me to do what's required at 'just the right time'. Help me to hold what I know to be true, till the time it can best be used for your purpose and the patience to bite my tongue when I would prefer to argue, choosing to submit to your spirit than to push my heart's desire forward.

Your ways are higher than mine O God, your wisdom far greater.
Speak louder in my ear till I hear your voice stronger.

Sermon application

Sometimes we listen to sermons, and they nourish us at the time, but we don't necessarily recall them from one week to another.

So far this week, what seemed to be a very simple message (parent well and don't have favourites among your children, and in whatever circumstances you find yourself in serve diligently) has been an almost constant conversation with people within and outside of our church family.

On face value, the message seemed simple and obvious, yet it is suprising to me how the truth appears to have impacted some people afresh.

Perhaps its because people have an increased desire to focus on what's more important than the economy (or to escape from it!), or perhaps its because people have got to the stage that they are ready to hear that God wants us to live differently. To live as people with a purpose, to live for him in all we do.

Whatever the reasons, I'm glad for the conversations and glad that people all over the place are stepping up to the responsibility of being parents, and enjoying serving God in the lows as well as the highs.

Sermon Prep anyone?

Buzzing over to Soveriegn Grace Ministries (where CJ Mahaney resides) I found this interview with John Piper about sermon preparation.

It's short and very APT.

Take a look

the more I know the less I know

I've been a christian for nearly 30 years.

Man and boy, except for a 2 year period in my early 20's when I lost my way, I have been following Christ, his teaching, his example, his calling for my entire life.

From an early age, I felt the weight of his calling and have prepared myself to follow him exclusively in everything.

Have I achieved it? - No.

Do I think it's even possible? - No.

Why?

If we were able to be perfect, then I would think the need for Jesus would evaporate. - we would be able to attain relationship with almighty God on our own merit.

Even though we are saved, have a new heart, a new 'magnetism' towards God rather than towards sin, it is still impossible for us to be perfect. So whilst I attempt to follow him in everything, the reality is there are areas (consiously or not) that I am going my own pig headed way, and when 'I ' choose something rather than 'waiting on the spirit' for direction.

Now you might think that this is a dangerous thing to admit. But it seems to me that God doesn't want us 'independent' from him. He doesn't want us relying on our own abilities, talents, gifts, thoughts, inclinations, strengths etc..  he seems to want us wholly available, wholly ready.  it is tempting to add that he wants us wholly weak, but i don't think that's true - he promises that when we are weak then he is strong, but there is no suggestion that he wants us weak.. rather he wants us well armed and prepared because the battle is long and fierce. 

Paul in 2 Corinthians 2 gives us some interesting insight into weakness.. 
8 Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it [his thorn in the flesh] would leave me, 9 but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

Like Paul the challenge is for us to be 'found in christ' when difficulties come. For us to still give him praise. Though I might be on weak theological ground, it doesn't seem to me that we are condemned for falling. (beyond the separation from God our sin promotes) rather that we are encouraged to turn from the sin, (repent) ask for forgiveness, and be retored in his grace and mercy. If this were not so, then surely none of us could ever stand, speak for God, lead or testify to his goodness.. and we would all only escape as ones through the fire.. 

So, that's my thoughts for today.. I will glory in my weakness whilst pressing on to take hold of all that God has for me. Not being held back on the times that I sin, but instead to submit myself to his correction (and the accountability of those who have responsibility for me) and rather than hide away under the judgement of God, rejoice in his saving grace and power, and live up to the calling he has placed on my life.

Theology of Life: the beginning

I struggle a lot.
Every day I struggle.
I see glimpses of getting free from sin and old thinking, and then I regress just as quickly into old ways.
But God is gracious.
He knows that when I'm at my lowest ebb, when temptation strikes and I buckle and waiver, he provides a way out.
Relying on him is NOT a cop out, but it is a solution. He says that I can stand firm in the face of opposition and that He will not allow a situation to be so harsh that I can't stand it (even if it actually, in reality kills me) - Live is Christ die is gain. Am I radicalised then.. ?
I guess I am.. - but I struggle none the less. I struggle to choose wisely. I struggle to be pure, I struggle to press in when I need to.

LORD HELP ME MORE.
Amen.

So this blog is part of my story, my account of the provision of my God and the way he moves me towards being more like Him