The search for our identity...

In relation to this post.
http://www.christian.org.uk/news/i-left-my-wife-and-kids-and-now-live-as-a-6-year-old-girl/

To me, the crux of this question is whether identity is something that can be determined by an individual or is something recognised by a society.   Indeed, like the emperor's new clothes, one can parade around believing to be dressed, but to everyone else you're still naked.  yet, the struggle to form an identity that a person feels comfortable presenting to the world seems more important than ever before in our societies.

• Is that because we're becoming more individualistic? 
• Is that one step away from saying actually we're just becoming more selfish?  

And what of compassion and genuine love for those who choose or identify a certain way regardless of the challenges for their family and friends in adjusting to the person with a new identity?
Those who convert to a different faith (or find faith having had none) have surely had a similar experience when they became adopted into a family of believers, so you'd think, (wouldn't you?), that we would have very real experience and skills in understanding their journey?   Some journeys, like the one in this story, seem very traumatic both for the man and for his former family. Other stories are less traumatic.  Some may even be happy events. Yet in the end, pursuing a personal identity often causes as much difficulty (even grief or pain) for others in adjusting their response as it does 'relief' for the individual.

So why would one who understands they are sons and heirs, constantly search for individual significance, status or identity when our identity, our very self, is hidden in Christ, and where Christ must become greater as we decrease?

Now we could talk about the identities we use all the time within the Kingdom.. We are still sons and daughters of earthly parents, we are often fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, singles and teens... but it seems to me these identities are more shorthands for the responsibilities or offices we hold towards another person, rather than an identity that we select... (other than the choice to marry and have children, say) And while I might indeed be a husband, father and a son all at the same time, switching hats as required to the appropriate perspective and responsibility required by the persons I am interacting with, none of those identities are particularly apparent or important when I am in my workplace, likewise my work identity is wholly unimportant when I am at home (though I dare say the income is nice).

• Is my gender, whether biologically stated, or personally selected the same?  

For the biological function of 'fathering' a child, it would seem my gender is important, but for most other responsibilities it seems broadly irrelevant.

Beyond the key question then of the supremacy of our spiritual identity, I wonder if any of the other identities are even worth challenging, given that they are all blown away like chaff at the moment of our death? Of course we will be remembered for the lives we interacted with, the feats we may have performed and the ideology and estate we leave behind, but our general identity will, like-as-not, be meaningless. And as we've seen with celebrities who cultivate an image, even after our death the legacy of our reputation is so easily unpicked, tarnished and destroyed, perhaps a sufficient warning to not invest quite so much energy in maintaining it?

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They need to see that the love of God in Christ we hold for ourselves, is available for them.

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Finally, the very real challenges for people who feel attracted to anything other than their biological, similarly aged opposite or feel trapped in a biological shell different to their sense of being should not be easily dismissed. They are still people, they are still deserving of our time, attention, compassion and love. They do not need our judgment, they do not need our condemnation. They need acceptance. They need to see that the love of God we hold for ourselves in Christ, is available for them.  They need to know that in whatever state they present themselves to us, like us, they have fallen short of the glory of God, like us, they are capable to receive God's grace, like us, they are dealing with all manner of stuff that perhaps we see little of, in short, they are just like all of us. They don't need our questioning. They don't need our urgency to 'correct their behaviour'.  They don't need our veiled prophetic 'encouragement to change'.  They don't need to be shunned. They don't need to be subject to church discipline. They are not challenging church authority, They are not a danger to your kids.

Why do we like sales?

At this time of year, it's easy to be seduced by sales tickets, promising an item at a price advertised as significantly lower than at a previous time.  In the UK these sales have a code of practice which is supposed to protect consumers from the ploys of companies touting a discount where non actually exists. But we're still seduced by the purported value of the saving.. of getting something for less... and many stores get around the rules by advertising higher prices in remote stores for 28 days previously..

You would have spent £100, now you only have to spend £50... the ticket exclaims, but we somehow fail to acknowledge that the item still costs us £50 (and before the sale, probably would have cost us £50 if we'd have been considering the item for some time..)  A shop is rarely going to offer for sale an item cheaper than they bought it, and below the price they can afford to sell it.   A sale price then is often not only a lie, but in the promise of a 'saving' you in fact don't make, it's an additional deceptive sham.

• I wonder what it is that attracts us to such things?  
• Why are we so easily mislead?
• Do we value something more if it costs us less? 
• How much are our feelings involved in our decision making?
• What does it say about what we need v what we want?
• How much does 'impulsiveness' play in our shopping habits? - and what does that prove about the fruit of 'self - control?'

Why are so many people struggling with their identity?

The article in gospel coalition which questions whether we are making disciples or deists raises some interesting discussion points.

1. Should Christians be happy?
2. What reasons for salvation did we communicate to those being saved?
3. After Alpha ( a good start point, but has it’s own theological glaring gaps) how do we prioritise teaching good biblical theology?
4. Is our sermonising ‘self-help’ with a biblical flavour, or is it good theology with life application?
5. Do we expect our thinking to be revolutionised when we come to Christ, or harmonised with our secular humanism?

The ages old precept of read your bible, pray every day is often replaced with journaling [or blogging] and counselling, and our midweek meetings tend to retain a semi-pastoral emphasis rather than seeking to engage with how we understand then apply theological understanding, and tragically few people know how to make alive what they are reading sufficient to share with each other, encouraging and building one another up.   The concept that we are followers of Christ together, having being radically transformed by the gospel, and the regenerating work of the spirit seems to be partially if not totally lost despite our theological reformed (calvinist) bias.

Could it be that the degree to which the common person (one that doesn’t hold a church office) is encouraged to educate themselves theologically has been reducing to the extent that anyone who enquires for themselves is now considered the oddball?   Moreover, I’ve lost count of the number of leaders who suggest their expectation of those in our pastoral care won’t read the bible for themselves, let alone understand what it says. Leadership may then become focussed at compensating for this loss of theological understanding and bible reading, rather than encouraging and working with the spirit to lead, teach and guide.  It’s almost as if for many we’ve understood our ‘service’ culture to be ‘serve me’ rather than serve each other and that we need to be spoon-fed from our leaders rather than running with them to hunt down and consume the meat.  It is wondrously surprising that despite the plethora of translations into understandable language, and the number of copies in the average Christian (sic) home the book is largely unread week to week.  If we truly believe that God is revealed through it’s pages it behooves us to dedicate our time and energy to knowing what it says and living it out.  Proverbs 4 tells us to get wisdom and understanding, and that surely is a call to educate ourselves.. not leave it to others.

But where can the common man go to aid their understanding?

• Though Wayne Grudem’s systematic theology is a reasonably easy read, most of my contemporaries ironically use it as a reference book to dip in and out of, rather than to systematically read, so that perhaps is not the best starting point. 
• Discipleship groups then? these could help, except it reinforces a leader, follower mentality which removes ownership of study from the learner – but we all have to start somewhere, so perhaps this has some merit.  Perhaps our midweek groups should do more than ‘unpick’ the Sunday sermon? 
• What about visiting each others homes daily to encourage one another, to pray, break bread and encourage one another while giving praise and thanks to God? – perhaps that seems too religious?

By far the biggest challenge here is not one about what the church does and doesn’t do to grow followers of Christ – though we need to look at what and how we do that - it is fundamentally that we have miscommunicated what a follower of Christ looks like, and take few steps to correct it.  This lack of clear identity, ‘what a Christian looks like’ allows all manner of alternative outlooks to find a foothold and delay our move to biblical thinking and attempting to change it after birthing people poorly is hard work, problematic and should be unnecessary if we do it right the first time!