The search for our identity...

In relation to this post.
http://www.christian.org.uk/news/i-left-my-wife-and-kids-and-now-live-as-a-6-year-old-girl/

To me, the crux of this question is whether identity is something that can be determined by an individual or is something recognised by a society.   Indeed, like the emperor's new clothes, one can parade around believing to be dressed, but to everyone else you're still naked.  yet, the struggle to form an identity that a person feels comfortable presenting to the world seems more important than ever before in our societies.

• Is that because we're becoming more individualistic? 
• Is that one step away from saying actually we're just becoming more selfish?  

And what of compassion and genuine love for those who choose or identify a certain way regardless of the challenges for their family and friends in adjusting to the person with a new identity?
Those who convert to a different faith (or find faith having had none) have surely had a similar experience when they became adopted into a family of believers, so you'd think, (wouldn't you?), that we would have very real experience and skills in understanding their journey?   Some journeys, like the one in this story, seem very traumatic both for the man and for his former family. Other stories are less traumatic.  Some may even be happy events. Yet in the end, pursuing a personal identity often causes as much difficulty (even grief or pain) for others in adjusting their response as it does 'relief' for the individual.

So why would one who understands they are sons and heirs, constantly search for individual significance, status or identity when our identity, our very self, is hidden in Christ, and where Christ must become greater as we decrease?

Now we could talk about the identities we use all the time within the Kingdom.. We are still sons and daughters of earthly parents, we are often fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, singles and teens... but it seems to me these identities are more shorthands for the responsibilities or offices we hold towards another person, rather than an identity that we select... (other than the choice to marry and have children, say) And while I might indeed be a husband, father and a son all at the same time, switching hats as required to the appropriate perspective and responsibility required by the persons I am interacting with, none of those identities are particularly apparent or important when I am in my workplace, likewise my work identity is wholly unimportant when I am at home (though I dare say the income is nice).

• Is my gender, whether biologically stated, or personally selected the same?  

For the biological function of 'fathering' a child, it would seem my gender is important, but for most other responsibilities it seems broadly irrelevant.

Beyond the key question then of the supremacy of our spiritual identity, I wonder if any of the other identities are even worth challenging, given that they are all blown away like chaff at the moment of our death? Of course we will be remembered for the lives we interacted with, the feats we may have performed and the ideology and estate we leave behind, but our general identity will, like-as-not, be meaningless. And as we've seen with celebrities who cultivate an image, even after our death the legacy of our reputation is so easily unpicked, tarnished and destroyed, perhaps a sufficient warning to not invest quite so much energy in maintaining it?

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They need to see that the love of God in Christ we hold for ourselves, is available for them.

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Finally, the very real challenges for people who feel attracted to anything other than their biological, similarly aged opposite or feel trapped in a biological shell different to their sense of being should not be easily dismissed. They are still people, they are still deserving of our time, attention, compassion and love. They do not need our judgment, they do not need our condemnation. They need acceptance. They need to see that the love of God we hold for ourselves in Christ, is available for them.  They need to know that in whatever state they present themselves to us, like us, they have fallen short of the glory of God, like us, they are capable to receive God's grace, like us, they are dealing with all manner of stuff that perhaps we see little of, in short, they are just like all of us. They don't need our questioning. They don't need our urgency to 'correct their behaviour'.  They don't need our veiled prophetic 'encouragement to change'.  They don't need to be shunned. They don't need to be subject to church discipline. They are not challenging church authority, They are not a danger to your kids.