Marriage prep

Mark Driscoll http://www.facebook.com/pastormark posted a very interesting tweet/Facebook post, which I’ll have to repeat here because I haven’t figured out how to link to it…   He said:

“You want to get married? You’re gonna have to go through a premarital process, declare all your sexual sin and history, submit to spiritual authority, and someone may tell you no. And you have to be okay with that because getting married is easy and fifty years of joy is hard. http://jesus.to/fuPICP”

Our understanding of what marriage is is formed from observation of our parents and tv.  For Christians it's important to look again at what marriage is from a biblical perspective. - so I'm in favour of some form of marriage prep here’s why…

Many who marry are barely honest with themselves, let alone with each other because insecurities prevent getting past 'if I tell them this, will they still love me'... marriages are stronger when hidden actions, addictions, baggage and sin is dealt with... because whatever is not dealt with is right there in the foundations of the relationship too and will have an effect until it is dealt with.

We are all discipled all the time in some way or another (either by intent or passively). The wise among us, seek out the guidance of those who are ahead of us (in the direction we want to travel) and follow it.  I see no reasons that marriage should be excluded from this, and in that regard I would assume support would be an ongoing process, not a course, checklist or exam to be passed. Evaluating if everyone is on the same page, can give a new marriage a really good supported start.  We must remember that we’re not called to private lives, but to public ones and I for one (having failed at my first marriage) am tired of the many reports of failed marriages in church/christian circles.  The tide has to change here, and being intentional about supporting this key stage of development and decision making may make a great deal of difference to it’s success.

One caveat is:

Leaders have to be careful not to (for all the right reasons) heavily shepherd people, but they should (like parents for their children) contend for the way which leads to righteousness.  They can help people to discover 'conviction' or 'calling' from 'idealism' or 'imagination', but the marriage threesome is Man, Woman and God, not Man, Woman and Church.  BUT the church family have the privilege to encourage and support any person, persons, couples and families in the context of journeying together, and being salt and light, and I would hope that would include lovingly asking questions and responsibly leading towards Christ.