I reached a point at which writing things down no longer made a difference to the ability to think through a problem. Blogging too seems to have lost it’s way as a communication tool, and I’m not even sure who I’m communicating to or why?
But though I haven’t been writing, I have been thinking a great deal about what it means to be saved, how and why we’re saved, what the point of earthly salvation is, what are the effects of salvation, what the role of church is, what the church is, what worship is, how worship matters, when worship matters, when singing is just singing, the exclusivity of the club that is church membership, the exclusion of sinners, the welcoming of sinners, changing culture, affecting culture, culture as a God, culture change as a metric of effectiveness in our community, engaging with culture, single sex marriage, compassion and healing, polyamory, alternative relationships, family structures, what God thinks about ‘now’ as we wait for ‘then’, bible weeks and other gatherings, what friends are, what friends do, what friends say, what friends judge, how friends pray, how few friends church people have – yet Christ was a friend to sinners.. what remains of Newfrontiers, when women will be Elders in the ChristCentral Sphere, the point of apostles, church administration and the local church, what love is, what love isn’t, how God loves, how we love God, how we love others, how sex affects love, how love affects sex, what matters in love, whether sport is a good thing a bad thing or just a thing, why so few people pray, why prayer meetings suck, why people feel lonely, what loneliness is, why church growth is slow, what size a local church should be, what the best way is to serve families, singles, couples, elderly, children and servers in the local church, what manhood is, what womanhood is, what personhood is, what identity is, what identity isn’t, what christlikeness is, what christlikeness does, how christlikeness loves, what hope looks like, what despair looks like, what role emotions have in salvation, whether love is a decision, an emotion,an action, a cost or a combination. Why marriage matters, why marriage doesn’t matter, whether if Christ had had sex would he have sinned, why the church is splintered, why different groups are still ‘factions’, why character doesn’t produce hope, and hope disappoints, why the heart sees what the head doesn’t, whether political leaders are still god ordained, is Christianity a method of social control, how the songs we sing affects what we think, when meditation becomes brainwashing, when meditation changes actions, when meditation creates calm, why Jesus reached out to a Samaritan, what’s happening to celebrity church leaders (the ones with webpages and international ministries), since no-one is perfect – what is the role of holiness? what it means to walk a well worn path, why we don’t encourage people to walk unworn paths, why the ‘narrow’ way seems to become the ‘broad’ way, and yet probably isn’t. disregarding age when does a person become ‘mature’.
I’m sure there are other things, but I thought it was an interesting list none the less. Feel free to ask me about it if you want.
I’m not sure, if and when I might blog again..
In what is now my 18th unfinished blog post, I am wondering if this one will actually find its way to the WWW, I guess if you’re reading this I have!
As I approach my 40th birthday, I find my life in a state of flux. My youngest is 4 years away from adult hood, my wife has refreshed her employment skills and is now looking for work, and it seems that everyone is looking to transition to a new phase in their life.
As for me, I seem a little stuck. – not the stuck that most ‘nearly 40 something's’ feel as they approach the mid-life crisis years, – I think I did that a couple of years ago! – but the distinct feeling I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in a back alley. I won’t bore you with the details of those things, because actually that’s not the reason for writing.. Instead I’ve been pondering the question of why it is that I find waiting so difficult…
Here’s how it works for me.
Perhaps your expectation isn’t too far away from this in respect of communications using various media. Such is my personality, that the longer the gap after the expected response period, the more paranoid I become that I’ve said something which was received poorly and my emotional hamster starts running wildly trying to work out what I could have said better, and whether my relationship with the recipient is damaged etc. It drives me nuts. Most often, something quite rational happened and they carry on oblivious to my angst, and the delay was nothing to do with me at all.
Now it’s not just in conversations that my emotional hamster gets all worked up. If I’ve promoted an idea, asked someone for a decision on something, made an alteration to something then my anxiousness is the same. What will they think? Will they agree? And if the result of their musing will mean a change for me, then my uncomfortability rises exponentially, because I really hate living in the end of a season space, where something is finishing and something else is starting.. Innovation always energises me, and having to finish something or having to wait to begin something is like just winding and winding an elastic band on a balsa wood plane propeller (actually much more like twisting a sachet of sauce in Wetherspoon’s before it explodes).
And so it is with God too.. I generally don’t find God silent. Most of the time it seems easy to determine his will by reading, praying, thinking, strategizing and just making a decision to act and seeing how the spirit feels about that! – God loves a good decision maker and unless he has other ideas (which he seems to make known pretty quickly) He seems pretty intent on my life heading towards His destination by choosing whatever path seems right to me at the time. [ For instance, you want to live in a different place? Put your house on the market! If it sells and you find a place to move to you like, then it would seem good to you and the spirit, so move. If you put your house on the market, and it doesn’t sell, then that seems a pretty good indication that this might not be the right time to be moving.. and therefore get on with your life.]
But there are other things that are not so easy to wait for.. life changing events, that make ‘getting on with your life’ quite difficult… That period between putting your house on the market and waiting a period of time to see if it sells, for instance is a horrible place to be. [and how sweet the relief once the house sells or a decision made to come off the market] Or maybe it’s a change of job role, and you’re finishing off your old responsibilities and trying to get up to speed on new ones. Man that can be a difficult place. Pregnancy too, is a big one isn’t it.. the pensive state between not yet being with a new life, and yet, there it is, trapped in a woman’s belly!
But the biggest for me, is in breakthrough. When God is seemly quite and weak. Where it seems that a decision is obvious but the timing isn’t right, or when it seems that you don’t know where to go or what to do. When you’re struggling through something and waiting for the end. When you’re struggling to get to somewhere and you’re helpless to bring about the change you need. When you simply don’t know what to choose between two seemingly attractive or catastrophic outcomes, and you’re just not sure which one to choose because it HAS to be A or B not both A and B. (like should we move to Australia say, and stay in England.. you can’t physically do both) These are the most difficult places to be.. and perhaps where our emotional hamsters do the most roiling. The what if’s come crashing like waves.. it’s difficult to plan, after all you don’t know what’s coming next, and there’s no comfort whatsoever in the ‘take each day as it comes’ mantra that you whisper to your tortured soul. It’s an intensely restless period, where peace and joy seems far from your lips and life, even the simple things (like managing freezer food) becomes a nightmare, life becomes painful, itchy and fragmented, relationships become tense or stupendously intimate as you both hold on and let go at the same time, and family tensions boil over into arguments, eggshell treading and lots of tears.
I hate these periods, and I’m thankful they don’t come often. Most of our life actually is quite controllable, and we can enjoy the benefits of planning and executing those plans, and dealing with any variations or course corrections as we go. Minor alterations from a trajectory are easy to manage because you have momentum, and pretty much everyone is on the bus with you.
And so with some certainty I feel I must pronounce that indecision is simply procrastination. It is a fear that we will choose wrong, which puts us in the same back alley that making a poor decision would put us in.. So you see, whether you make a bad decision, or no decision, this negative outcome is waiting for you…. The only way to attempt to avoid it is to actually make a decision…
But if like me, you’ve made a couple of decisions and you’re now in the back alley you feared, there are still two choices!
It is exceedingly rare that God will open up a secret compartment at the end of the alleyway, taking you into an as yet undiscovered life, of extraordinary wonder and fulfilment, instead we have to take responsibility for any poor decision we made that brought us here, stop blaming others (or God) for ‘leading us here’ and TURN AROUND and get out of the hole we’re in.
The reason friends, that waiting is so unbearably difficult, is that we’re on a journey [aren’t we?] and waiting isn’t much part of getting to your destination. If we’re waiting we’re wasting time. Waiting should be an active temporary thing (like going to a bus stop, waiting for the bus to arrive) not a passive thing (waiting at home hoping a bus would stop outside your house). Passive is procrastination again. So if you’re not seeing breakthrough with something, chances are you haven’t made the decision (or followed through with the consequences of that decision (which is the same thing as not having made the decision at all)).
So where does that leave me? For the things I can decide, things that are within my power to change, things that ultimate affect my journey/trajectory or ultimately my destination, I can make [and follow through] a decision or two and end my discomfort. I may make the wrong decision, but a decision at least will have been made and I’ll have to rely on God (at the end of my three core years and ten) to bring about those plans and purposes he has for me to come good. For the things I’m waiting for others to decide, hopefully they’ll not drag out the difficulty for too long, noting that it is destabilising for them also to have these things hanging about undecided. I’m not sure what a reasonable period of time is to wait for that… but I can’t imagine being in the dead zone for more than a month will produce a happy bunny, so I guess that’s the yardstick by which I’ll get very twitchy.. Finally, I can be hopeful that whatever I decided and whatever is decided for me, there is a future hope that all things will work together for good, so I needn’t worry about how many wrong decisions I make, or how blunderous my steps, I just need to worry about how I am leading myself and my family, in Christ. And if waiting isn’t a passive thing, then I’ll wait for my end of days, by living my life for the glory of his name while there is breath in my body. In the end, isn’t that what we’re all called to do?
The Olympics are nearly over. The culmination of years of hard work and up to 4 years of dedication to win a prize has been completed for many an athlete and sportsperson. The partying has begun, and for many the ‘wheels will come off’ for a while as the focus on practice and the goal ahead is left behind, in favour of celebrating (or commiserating).
Sometimes in the Summer, we do the same.. after working hard to reach an objective, we choose to take ‘down time’ from the responsibility of our tasks, enjoy ourselves, and find refreshment in not being motivated by the work left to do.
1) It is important to rest, but while we rest, don’t sin.
“When in Rome” is an oft quoted euphemism for fitting in with what everyone else is doing.. – but just because many in the Olympic village are partying hard and ‘forgetting themselves’ doesn’t give us licence to do likewise. When we’re on holiday we’re often away from our support structures and people that know us. ‘Who will know?’ we say to ourselves. “It won’t really matter if…” but the measure of our heart change is what we do in PRIVATE, not what we do in PUBLIC ( Matthew 6:6).
The purpose then of vacations is to relax and refresh, not to sin. Yet isn’t often our inclination to drink too much, eat too much, spend too much, as if personal responsibility has gone by the wayside? How confusing it must be to our children when all year we have been saying to be watchful, disciplined and careful, and then we blow caution to the wind when the opportunity arises? Isn’t it hypocritical of us?
2) Refreshment produces a light feeling, not a heavy burden.
If we come back from holiday with a bump, feel more tired when we return than when we left or are suddenly facing a load of issues that were not present before our vacation isn’t it likely that we failed to exercise our responsibility carefully before our departure and didn’t actually refresh ourselves during our vacation? Refreshment actually refreshes us. The clue is in the word. It’s not about whether we have an activity holiday or a quite seclusion, what activity energises one may not energise another, but recharging our batteries by diverting our energies from our regular responsibilities provides the space for us to be refreshed, but not the means.
3) What is actually refreshing?
Having the time to spend in the word? reading some edifying material that we didn’t have time for before our break? focussing on relationships with those we’re vacationing with? Releasing some burden or other that you’ve been carrying ‘to the Lord’? Relating with some other part of the Lord’s family to encourage us and them, and be amazed at what’s He’s been coordinating to bring about His kingdom purpose.. finding Solace and purpose in His embrace? Getting to bed early and sleeping in a little later? [actual rest can be very refreshing!]
Yet when we set our vacation agenda, I wonder, do we think ‘it’ll be nice not to have to go to church… ‘ or ‘I’d love to see what [name of church] are doing, It’d be great to go see them? Do we just look to ‘be on our own’ have some ‘me’ time? Is that what Jesus did?
4) But I’m going to Newday, together @, Soul survivor, New Wine etc…
Going to a conference may provide spiritual nourishment and energising refreshment but they are also hard work, not generally relaxing (results may vary) and for those not used to camping, can be stress inducing. In all cases, it is not a holiday or vacation, and though it is expensive and are often for convenience sake held in vacation time, it may well be worth considering finding some reflective, down time where you can actually rest to receive bodily refreshment. On the seventh day the Lord rested, not because he was tired, but I submit to you to show us that proper rest is important. Athletes have a recovery period after each race and after each games. It would be amazingly arrogant of us to assume that we who are less fit need less rest and recovery.
5) Rest, refreshment and recovery always leads to the start of the road ahead.
I submit to you that if you are properly rested your perspective on what is to come is signifcantly and positively affected. You are not at the end of your days, you are at the end of that road. Even if you have to tread a similar path the day after your vacation, each new day enables you to approach that days journey with the refreshment you have received. When we vacation it gives us a moment to reflect on our destination (and change it) AND the mode of transport (and change that too). We can determine if the destination is right but the road we’re on is not, and we can determine to change course. We can determine if we’re travelling too fast or too slow and make an alteration to the transport, and we can determine that what we were heading for is really the prize or whether the prize is beyond or in a different direction altogether. If we fail to spend some time submitting to God our plans and waiting on him in a vacation period, we miss a cherished opportunity to reaffirm his purpose in our lives, remind ourselves of His promises to us, and recommit ourselves to treading the path he has laid before us.. the road ahead will always be there, but let us tread on it with renewed vigour, energy and spirit as we trust Him with our lives our journey, our bodies and our destination.
God can and does use all sorts of people (some very unlikely at face value) to fulfil his purposes, the question perhaps though is 'can and does God call women to Teach or have Authority' to which I'm not sure I've heard a satisfactory answer that confirms YES. I'm inclined to agree with John Piper’s/Wayne Grudem’s reasoning that [authoritive] leadership is male, and hence since preaching conveys ‘at least a notion that a person is sanctioned to address the church gathered in ways which would not preclude them from leadership/eldership of it' such a task is prohibited to women, notwithstanding that I also infer that the literal interpretation of the relevant verses (1 Tim 2:12, 1 Cor 14:34, 1_Cor 11:5 and others) makes the most hermeneutic sense. [I should clarify that I don’t think Paul’s intention was that women are totally silent, given the advice in 1 Cor 11:5] more on these two themes here.
Now because I have a wife and daughters, I am mindful too of the effect of this position, and mindful too that no-one (especially not anyone who belongs to a body that believes in 'freedom') likes to be told that they *cannot* do something.. but if God does not call women to preach, then what (is it that they are being barred from that) causes them some notion of distress? It would be as ludicrous to me as being distressed that I am barred from giving birth or giving a child suck.. But even if I was certain that God does call women to Teach, why does that seemingly automatically follow that such calling need to be exercised within a pastoral context, and not say, within evangelism, women's ministries, missionary activity...? What drives the need to 'preach to the church' when they are prohibited (at least as far as I am currently concerned) with leading it...? The two things appear incongruous to me unless you also remove the prohibition to leadership which would be a next logical step, [and a step observable within several other denominations as one of the next lines..if preaching then why not leading, if leading then why not eldership?]. Whilst we are to employ logic, we may be on dangerous ground if we attempt to extend scripture on logic alone to suggest that scripture a + scripture b MUST LOGICALLY MEAN scripture c applies to whatever agenda we wish it to affect.
To be wonderfully vulnerable and transparent on this matter, and mindful that I may find few who agree with me, I, personally, would be more comfortable with exclusive male leadership within every serving and leading team within a body, not because of in-capabilities but because the kingdom order of headship appears to be male led within the family, and the church. Let me be clear though I am not a proponent of any form of subjugation of women, nor am I suggesting that they are unequal in respect of status in the kingdom of God. They are no lesser saved nor lessor inheritors... far from it... but we really must distinguish function and authority from equally saved and equally heirs according to promise. Is Jesus greater than God the Father? Do they fight among themselves secretly wishing that they can function as the other is doing? If Jesus understood this key concept of submission, why don’t we?
Do I believe that men are infallible as a virtue of their sex.... far from it and I am (thankfully still living) testimony to that fact! Also I have great sympathy for those ladies who have had such poor examples of male leadership whether in the home or church that they have felt it necessary to step up to lead in the vacuum, but however understandable or mitigating it may be, I believe that practice to be in error and never enables either male or female to reach their full potential in Christ.
That there are some women preachers who are eloquent (and seemingly effective) speakers, does not imply retrospectively that they have been given authority to preach nor infers therefore an understanding of scripture that permits that activity. Scripture must be a higher authority than our own wants, observations, or social cultural bias surely? And of course eloquence is not the domain of either sex and I am certain that I have heard enough poor, uninspired, life sucking, sermons to fill many days from men! So it is not 'the sex' of a person that determines this but other factors which are not the subject of this post.
I recognize that this is a sensitive and topical issue for not just women but for men and indeed the [newfrontiers] church. I welcome opportunities to examine my convictions in light of biblical argument, but I'm cautious of arguments based predominantly around attempting to negate biblical instruction as 'societal/cultural' emphasis....as we seem to have a habit of revising history to fit our uncomfortability with scripture! In the meantime, I sit where I have outlined and because of the need to guard my heart against every wind of doctrine and a desire to test and approve what God's will is I cannot at this juncture submit myself to the teaching of a woman or to someone who suggests I must.
Ephesians 4:14-16
New Century Version (NCV)
14 Then we will no longer be babies. We will not be tossed about like a ship that the waves carry one way and then another. We will not be influenced by every new teaching we hear from people who are trying to fool us. They make plans and try any kind of trick to fool people into following the wrong path.15 No! Speaking the truth with love, we will grow up in every way into Christ, who is the head.16 The whole body depends on Christ, and all the parts of the body are joined and held together. Each part does its own work to make the whole body grow and be strong with love.
The biggest issue I have with predestination is that I may not be, or people I'm connected to may not be part of the elect. Though I can be comfortable with God's sovereignty in many areas, that he may distinctly not chose a family member or indeed me makes me very uncomfortable (and unable to know how to adequately respond).
I'm comforted with the passages that also promise whosoever will may come to God, but isn't that a bit like lining up to play football and being the last to be picked? You're not really wanted there, but since there's no-one else you can play the game? Perhaps I have the wrong view of election and predestination, perhaps its for similar reasons I struggle to believe that God has to regenerate a person's heart before they can respond to God, when clearly those who might respond to God already understand that their efforts to reach him on their own merit aren't enough and they need 'saving'. The unregenerated heart still feels the disappointment of success in worldy terms and still reaches for more longing for wholeness and belonging that nothing other than God can bring. This seems to me to be 'built in' to the dna of a person. It would be a very odd person who would wish that should God be convincingly demonstrated to exist they still wouldn't care a fig what He thinks of them.
In the end, though for God to be God doesn't he have to set the rules of play? Isn't it really up to God who he saves and who he doesn't? Why should he be subject to my preference? Yet he is loving, gracious, holy and just. but for totally selfish reasons the challenge for me is to know who God has chosen and who he hasn't. I want to know if I can ever say to anyone again with certainty that 'God loves you', or is there some way that I can see a permanent banishment from God as somehow loving? I want to be able to resolve satisfactorily in my head and heart that Jesus' sacrificial gift was perfectly executed, and includes everyone irrespective of whether everyone responds and without what appears to be heretical universalism. I want to know what the point of evangelism is, if salvation is simply a spirit enabled, sovereign act of God, and HOW to evangelise without misrepresenting the truth and preaching a gospel other than one that saves.
Maybe the truth is that there is a synergy in the saving grace from God. Maybe it is not we reach for God or he reaches to us, but perhaps it is that both reach for each other from the beginning of time? perhaps looking for a linear logic to understand the cause and effect is too limiting for an action of a God who is so sacrificial in his Love for us? perhaps the paradoxical approach is the only one that fully combines the scriptures which extol the grace of God and our need to respond to the yearning for God that is within every human heart?
But what of comfort? What of the certainty of where we go when we're finished with our mortal body as we await our resurrection and face the final judgement? "God knows" seems poor comfort when a person has lost the physical comfort of some loved one's presence. Do we need to be able to determine whether those who have lived with us are included in Christ? and do we need certainty of salvation to attempt to live right? Isn't the law, still the law?
All I can say for sure right now is that with everything in me that can, I want to love God. I'm convinced that to the fullest of my ability to respond, I'm organising my thoughts, actions and hopes heavenward, mindful that there are some areas of my life that are yet to be subject fully to his law - even after all these years of trying to follow Him. If my sins are able to be counted paid in Christ, then I am grateful his sacrifice, grace and love is sufficient for me. Even if I am not counted as covered by his blood, it does not remove the need to comply with his law which is still a better [perfect] way to live with each other even if there is no eternal reward. Whether I am or not chosen, elect or disqualified from his saving grace, I hope I can graciously live to bring little shame to his name while I am alive in my body. God is still God, He is still creator and author of life, I still owe him everything whether he wants me with him forever or just for now. He is important, I am just a flicker in the flame of life... a gust in the wind... a moment in history.
I'm at a funeral today. I hope that it gives me opportunity to talk about death, life and God. I hope that my own struggles don't get in the way of pointing to Christ. I hope that in pointing to Christ I don't lead people to disappointment, but to life. I pray that to whatever measure possible in my regenerated or unregenerated heart I can be influenced by the Spirit of God to be wise, humble and loving. I pray that theology doesn't just affect thinking, but action, and that action comes from the heart and the head. If the power of the resurrection is available to me, I trust that i will use it well to proclaim Christ, and him crucified so that those who can respond to the Gospel of Christ [by whatever method is valid] can do so and there may be a party in heaven for those that are welcomed in.
The article in gospel coalition which questions whether we are making disciples or deists raises some interesting discussion points.
The ages old precept of read your bible, pray every day is often replaced with journaling [or blogging] and counselling, and our midweek meetings tend to retain a semi-pastoral emphasis rather than seeking to engage with how we understand then apply theological understanding, and tragically few people know how to make alive what they are reading sufficient to share with each other, encouraging and building one another up. The concept that we are followers of Christ together, having being radically transformed by the gospel, and the regenerating work of the spirit seems to be partially if not totally lost despite our theological reformed (calvinist) bias.
Could it be that the degree to which the common person (one that doesn’t hold a church office) is encouraged to educate themselves theologically has been reducing to the extent that anyone who enquires for themselves is now considered the oddball? Moreover, I’ve lost count of the number of leaders who suggest their expectation of those in our pastoral care won’t read the bible for themselves, let alone understand what it says. Leadership may then become focussed at compensating for this loss of theological understanding and bible reading, rather than encouraging and working with the spirit to lead, teach and guide. It’s almost as if for many we’ve understood our ‘service’ culture to be ‘serve me’ rather than serve each other and that we need to be spoon-fed from our leaders rather than running with them to hunt down and consume the meat. It is wondrously surprising that despite the plethora of translations into understandable language, and the number of copies in the average Christian (sic) home the book is largely unread week to week. If we truly believe that God is revealed through it’s pages it behooves us to dedicate our time and energy to knowing what it says and living it out. Proverbs 4 tells us to get wisdom and understanding, and that surely is a call to educate ourselves.. not leave it to others.
But where can the common man go to aid their understanding?
By far the biggest challenge here is not one about what the church does and doesn’t do to grow followers of Christ – though we need to look at what and how we do that - it is fundamentally that we have miscommunicated what a follower of Christ looks like, and take few steps to correct it. This lack of clear identity, ‘what a Christian looks like’ allows all manner of alternative outlooks to find a foothold and delay our move to biblical thinking and attempting to change it after birthing people poorly is hard work, problematic and should be unnecessary if we do it right the first time!
I’m quite a loudperson. I don’t usually need a microphone to be heard in a room, I’m confident to speak to several or few (though I struggle to mingle in a crowd), and I usually have thought through (or can think through quickly) common subjects and discussion topics. I like to think, enjoy a good debate (political, social or theological), engage with opinionated people who are iron to my iron regardless of view and I ask lots of questions and appreciate the answers.
I find being quiet really hard. Listening for the still small voice is easier in the quiet than in the noise of an active mind. For me, to be quiet takes extraordinary amounts of effort and patience, and usually people who know me ask ‘what’s wrong’ because their perception is that it’s abnormal (for me).
All followers of Christ are charged with communicating the gospel of Christ, and living a life which displays his radiant glory (words & actions) yet also require humble service and quiet obedience. This dynamic is interesting to present when humble, quiet, obedient, service is by definition almost unnoticed and is certainly obfuscated by verbal communication and demonstrable conviction. I wonder about where blogging fits into the mix. In many ways it’s a loud activity, communicating to any who stumble upon my musings, and perhaps it gives a glimpse into my heart or head for those with an eye to delve behind the words to the motivation for them. But is the still small voice evident in the words? is it actually helpful to any cause? Is it quiet, humble, obedience too?
And what of the struggles with my marriage? Surely a man must first lead his household well? – Yet, even when that leading isn’t going to primary plan, does that mean for that season we’re totally useless to God, lest we become hypocrites, believing one thing and doing another? If I can lose the way here where I have spent most effort, and invested so heavily, isn’t it all the more possible to lose the way in other areas? Shouldn’t that cause me to be silent for now? - but if a gift is given surely it is to be used – not left unexercised? It seems to me that if God is the same, yesterday today forever, and if his primary calling to us remains unchanged, and if we’re to be honest with each other as we do life together, then struggles alone do not disqualify us, and disqualifying ourselves only places ground into enemy hands. We needed saving because we were sinful and we still need his spirit because we are weak. His strength is made perfect in weakness so perhaps I need to be all the more vocal of my own weakness so that He may be glorified in me? Or have I misunderstood what Paul was talking about?
I need to find the quiet voice that leads the way. There are times I’ll need to be quiet to do that. But perhaps I also need to continue to be noisy in declaring who God is, the extent of his grace, the provision of the cross and the call to his kingdom? I cannot fear man, what can they do to me? if they kill me, do I not still gain the prize? So death holds no barrier to action.. only my own stubbornness or embarrassment does?
Lord God, thank you for changing me so much and giving me an abundance of blessing. I am blessed to be counted in your house, part of those who will be with you forever in paradise, saved from the consequences of my own actions, redeemed by the blood of Christ which stained the cross in place of my sins, loved by the Father like the Son and led by the Spirit. If that is the sum total of all that has been done for me, it would be enough already to be eternally thankful.
But your love continues to penetrate my stubborn heart…
…It softens me when I am cold to change, and proud or belligerent
Your spirit shows me where I have yet to repent, and receive forgiveness – not so that I can be ‘more saved’ but so that I can be more ‘free’. I’m so sorry that I take inordinate time arguing over every small thing you ask of me, and that my own embarrassment or shame at my actions slows down my readiness to repent when it should be the opposite. How patient you are with me! and what a model of patience I have to follow to love others. Thank you.
I thank you that despite myself, I find myself still married, still privileged to father wonderful children, still employable, still trustworthy, still within your eternal purpose, still able to be useful to you, still loved, still cherished, still sung over, still delighted in, still chosen, still wanted. Thank you. Thank you.
I am never alone, even when I feel so. That I choose not to remember you are with me always, doesn’t change that you are. That I ignore your quiet whisper or that I forget to meditate on your words when I’m afraid, hesitant or sinful doesn’t make any of your words less true or less powerful. How you must despair of me! You have destroyed nations for less disobedience, yet you spare me time after time. How merciful you are! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Is there anywhere I can go to escape you? Is there some way that I could hide in obscurity where you couldn’t find me? Is there someway I can turn my back on what you have done for me and gain the penalty I truly deserve? Is there any future for me that is not inextricably conjoined with you? Is there some sin I can commit that will have you disown me? Is there some hurt I can rend on your church that there would be no place for me among it? Is there some harm I can do to myself that would invalidate my sonship? I have not found any. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Though I rebel and frustrate and fight and lose my way, you are faithful, and patient, merciful, enduring, steadfast, gracious, compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. I am truly thankful to know you, and love you however imperfectly. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you God.
8 The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.
English Standard Version (ESV)
For nearly all my life I’ve held pretty fast to the claim that there is little I regret because the sum of all experiences good and bad have created the person I am. How we handle success and failure, pain and the pain we cause others, construction and destruction informs us greatly about who we are, what makes us tick and what we think about ourselves (and others!) but I’ve been rethinking this of late.
It occurs to me that:
You wouldn't face any hurdles, obstacles, challenges or difficulty? (John 16:33) Isn't it for this reason we are to edify ourselves and speak in tongues regularly? (1 Cor 14:4-5) singing psalms and hymns to each other (Eph 5:19) - so we understand what God's will is? (Eph 5:17) And what of the armour of God? (Eph 6:10-18) Is that only for decoration?
The harvest field won't reap itself (Luke 10:2) but the corn is ripe in the field (John 4:35), waiting for you to harvest it! It'll be hard work, you'll sweat, your flesh will be torn and you'll suffer (Phil 1:29), but you'll rejoice in those sufferings (Rom 5:3) because it produces fruit in you of hope, peace and joy that will quieten your feelings and purify you (1 John 3:3). So get dressed and be ready for service (Luke 12:35), be obedient and humble (Phil 2:8), be thankful and pray continually (1 Thess 5:16-18) be kind, compassionate and forgiving (Col 3:12-17) do good to all (Gal 6:10) and if you are to go on living in your body make sure your labour is fruitful (Phil 1:21-22) while you press on towards the prize (Phil 3:14)
Surely you know these things are true? - Don't waste time listening to the whispers of fear from your feelings whilst ignoring the shouts of life and encouragement from the pages of the bible and from the Spirit. Are you being a giant (Num 13:30) or seeing giants (Num 13:33)? For nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37) and he chose you and predestined you according to his plan so you can live for the praise of His Glory. (Eph 1:11).
JUST DO IT !
I’ve been a bit disappointed with Mark Driscoll's latest series on Marriage.
Really Good bits:
It would be remiss of me to not mention right at the outset that there is much to be thankful to Mark for in this series: his head on tackling of the need to be friends, the openness about his journey with Grace, the emphasis on working through issues - not working a way out of the relationship, the Q&A sessions at the end of each sermon, having the book in advance to read and work through, and a complementarian view of the husband and wife dynamic within a Calvinist perspective.. not to mention making the sessions free online.
The sessions are set up to be very helpful. The intent is that as the particular component of a marriage relationship is examined corporately, sin is repented of, commitments are made and communion is shared between couples within the corporate meeting. I suspect that it provides an opportunity to commit semi-publically to change tack whilst still preserving intimacy within a couple. As an example of corporate couples ministry it seems helpful.
Here’s where I find the problem:
In this weeks session – The respectful wife - if I was a woman I’d struggle to have heard any message other than ‘put up and shut up’, and it sounds a lot more like a description of a dominant/submissive set up than mutually submitting to one another as to Christ – which I don’t think he really means to communicate. I’m all for strong men, leading strongly, but we also need to stress that there’s a mutual belonging to each other, not (as Mark seems to espouse) that women are (property and) merely a husband’s ‘helper’.
And why chose ‘respect’ rather than ‘follow his lead’? I can imagine he didn’t want to use submission because its an emotive word and often misunderstood, but respect? I agree with many of his observations, but it’s not ‘disrespectful’ for a wife not to submit to her husband but sinful! (just as it is sinful for him not to be submissive to her). Mark also suggests that it’s not a wife’s job to ‘love’ her husband, but isn’t submission all about ‘following the way of love’ (Eph 5:1)?? but Mark doesn’t mention this so can’t communicate his helps to women within the context of loving and mutually submitting to each other, and barely mentions that following his lead is first modelled by him as he follows Christ.
I can imagine that as this was one of Grace’s chapters in the book, and given Mark’s character, perhaps this was a big issue for them.. and it’s not that I disagree especially with the points he raised.. but how he presented the session leaves me uncomfortable. Mark’s usual style of ‘I shout at you cos I love you’, and his presumptions that because (as he seems to see it) the baggage in his relationship with Grace was more from her than him (and ergo his presumption that this is the same for every other marriage) make it difficult to see how his advice to women to respect their husbands can be received open handed. Often he doesn’t sound very gracious either, and though in the previous session he spoke with Men to realise their responsibilities and deal with their sin, I find myself being more offended by the delivery than the message and having to re-tread the ground later to try to hear the principle behind the smash and grab.
Personally:
I guess what I’m saying is that unlike several of his other series I will be very cautious about who I would recommend this series to, and especially cautious to recommend to anyone whose relationship is in a fragile place. The writing in the book is a little softer though and perhaps it might be better to read his book and hear the whole discussion in context than attempt to follow in sessions.
I watched the BBC documentary series Protecting our Children with some very mixed feelings about the program.. Why is it even called protecting our children, surely this is the wrong message and sets social workers against parents from the get go? Isn’t this issue more about how we raise children?
The program stirred in me some very big questions... Where is the extended family? What friends are helping to support them? Toby is likely to spend his entire childhood in foster care - how is that really better? How does a social worker help struggling parents by giving them a 'plan?'. What care was there for Tiffany once her children were in care? Mike clearly has some developmental issues of his own - how was he supported? Did Tiffany love her children - I think she did.. and if she was making progress (as seemed evident) how can it be that she then 8 months later came to a decision that giving them up was better for them - or indeed for her? I really hope this was nothing to do with 'CLASS' or 'ECONOMICS!'... Suzanne's admission is she 'hoped' life would be better for Toby, but what checks are in place to make sure they are?
It is distressing that there are so many people in our nation who really struggle to care for themselves (basic care) let alone care for others.. As a society and individually don’t we need to take a good hard look at ourselves and ask why that is? If all we do is get upset, tutt and wonder how this could happen and yet drive past people who are clearly struggling without becoming their friend and coming alongside them, supporting, loving then shame on us. Let us be better than this. Social workers do a very difficult job, made more difficult because the rest of us often think caring for others is someone else's job. They can only do so much, and are limited in what they are 'allowed' to do. I'm glad they bought him a bed, but couldn't they have ensured it was set up? Isn’t that something though that a friend could do? Surely, it's practical help and emotional support that people need, and that is often treated with suspicion when offered by social workers because the threat is 'do what I say or lose your kid'.. those without the power to remove kids, people like you and me, need to step up to love the parents, help them learn what to do without making them a mini-project, without talking down or judging them, and without taking over. Let's use our anger, our distress and our new-found awareness to make a real difference this year to the lives of families, not just children in difficult or dangerous situations.
Human beings are amazing creations capable of enormous acts of compassion, love and service. Our ability to chose to prefer others needs before our own seems to set us apart from other creations who appear to be driven mainly by more viceral objectives.
Yet, in acknowledging our freedom to chose how and who we are going to be one also has to accept that we (and others) may chose to be less than concerned with the plight of our fellow man and more focussed on our own wants or vulnerabilities.
If I truly believe that my mind can be renewed so that I can understand what God's will is, and if I am convinced that along with being inseparable from the love of God there is also nothing to fear from man, why then would I allow any feeling to disable me from remaining vulnerable to others?
The question then seems not to be about whether or not other people will hurt me or indeed whether they have chosen to set aside selfish or destructive desires, but more where I chose to place the foundation of my security. If it is placed in relationships with other people, they will, eventually fail to remain pain free. If I put my security in my construct of who God is, that too will ultimately dissapoint since I am just as prone as any to shape God in my own image and have to regularly remind myself that His ways and thoughts are higher.. in the end then, the only place in which personal security can be found is in the God of the bible, the Jesus who saw the same sun from the perspective of an earth dweller and the Spirit who lives in me, works through me and goes before me.
Understanding this, and acting as if this were true are unfortunately two different things. I may understand that the fruit of the spirit that lives in me is a character of love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control, but my sometimes not so dead sinful self remains and intends to impose self, vengeance, misery, impatience, unkindness, harm and impulsive lashouts on anyone who offends me. It does not escape me that my will can be easily bent in one direction or another, and I am thankful that so far I have not experienced a regression back to my sinful selfs obsessions sufficient to make it impossible to bend back towards responding to the conditioning of the spirit, and I'm thankful that the ability to chose to overrule a feeling with a decision to chose Christ and His ways is possible however much my vulnerable heart may wish to promote other outcomes.
Is this ability to trump emotions with decisions unique to humans? Is the ability to chose Christ when our inclination is to protect ourselves a demonstration of God's irresistible grace or recognition that it is only in the trinity of God that ultimate security can be found? I'm not sure I know the answer to that, but I know that bending is better than breaking. Breaking is what happens when I chose to not respond to the tenderness of the spirit, and brokeness is always repairable if I can get past myself to see how Christ sees and feels.
The challenge then is not to ignore what I feel but to continually submit to the restored 'spirit within' design for human beings that the creator God fashioned in us, relating first with the security that God brings, before attempting to relate to the rest of the world he spoke into being.
Lord help me to get into my stubborn will the temperate nature of your Spirit's fruit. Make security in me not something that is based on any earthly person, yet help me extend grace, mercy, tenderness and love to those I encounter. Let me glimpse as much of my future home as I can stand and still be content to live here and may I be useful to you bearing whatever cost for the sake of your kingdom. Your grace is enough, your mercy is new every morning. My grace and mercy needs to be the same towards others, help me with that.
